For people who find themselves alone at this time of year, it’s especially hard. Family and friends are a hallmark of the holiday season and therefore you may feel even worse. It’s normal to have some difficulty in this situation. It’s ok to feel hurt and lonely and want to feel better.
Some ways people can feel happy alone are:
1. Get to know yourself deeply. Spend your time alone discovering what activities excite you, what feelings make your body ache, and what thoughts give you chills. What are your core values? Loneliness is the absence of connection- so focus on connecting with yourself on a deep level. Treat your relationship with yourself as foremost priority and the way you would want someone else to treat you. Figure out what makes you tick. Give yourself what you seek in others.
2. Limit social media. Never compare yourself to others or to fantasy versions of yourself that would have existed if you made different life choices. While the initial idea of connecting people globally was revolutionary, a side effect of heavy social media usage is increase in self judgement and the fear of missing out. It’s ok to check in, but when you start to lose track of time scrolling or begin comparing your situation to others, listen to those internal cues and sign off for the day.
3. Review what behaviors you might consider changing. You are not stuck. You are just committed to a pattern of behaviors that are no longer serving you. You keep applying an old formula to the same situation you can’t expect to move forward.
It’s a common misconception that therapy should be the last resort. Truthfully, you don’t have to be at your wits end to visit a therapist. There is no right time, reason, or problem to seek therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling with functioning in any area of their life, professional counseling is available.
written by Lauren Luppino, LCSW - https://laurenluppino.com/